A celebration of commitment between two people should be a memorable occasion. For the couple it is a rite of passage, as they leave behind the single state and embrace the state of being a couple. It is not only an opportunity to affirm their intentions to love and support each other, it is their chance to ask that their community see them and treat them not only as individuals but as a unity. Those who attend are reminded that such relationships of trust require special care and nurture and have an opportunity to ponder and celebrate their relationships and their commitments. Thus the ceremony is a ritual that harkens back to powerful roots and feelings.
As ministers, we regard the opportunity to help couples celebrate their weddings, commitments, vows renewals, and unions as both a privilege and a responsibility. A successful service is a true celebration. It requires planning, and it requires a deep understanding between the minister and the couple. For this reason, we rarely do wedding services without several months' notice and several appointments for planning and premarital counseling. Our ministers often perform weddings in places other than the Sanctuary and will discuss your ideas with you.
Phone Numbers
First Unitarian Church Office (505) 884-1801
Christine Robinson, Minister
David Grimm, Associate Minister
Trish Colombo, Church Administrator
Marriage in Unitarian Universalist Thought
Primary to all aspects of Unitarian Universalist theology is our belief in the spiritual authority of each individual. This is the reason we impose no creed on members; we cherish the right of each of us to come to our own beliefs and to symbolize those beliefs in our own way. This autonomy applies to our beliefs about marriage as much as our beliefs about theology.
We think that the ceremony of marriage is covenantal rather than sacramental. That is, the ceremony is primarily a celebration of a covenant between two people and their community rather than a blessing or visiting of the divine. In other words, God does not care about ceremonies, only about the quality of your relationship. The ceremony can enhance that relationship by requiring you to "go public," affirming your promises and asking the support of the community gathered with you of your sacred intentions. The minister merely facilitates this process. We help couples plan their services, and often officiate at them, but do not consider ourselves necessary to the process. A community, however, even if it consists of only a few friends, is essential, for at least some of the people who relate to the couple must be present to affirm that, in the eyes of the community, their status has changed.
UU ministers perform marriages, services of Holy Union for same-sex couples, and vows renewals. All of those services are ritually similar. Our society has a great interest and stake in healthy families of all kinds. Unitarian Universalists mostly believe, and our institutions support, the formation of family by couples of same and opposite sexes, and work for the full rights in society of same-sex couples. Note that in the state of New Mexico, same-sex couples do not have legal standing and must therefore take on the added burden of making wills and creating or changing other legal documents to give each other the rights and protections of spouses.